Sunday, May 3, 2020

Shade

"But you looked so happy in that photo."

"Check the date. I haven't met him when this was taken."

Monday, April 27, 2020

Calm

Staying strong, standing tall.
Keep on moving.

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

A bit too much.

I'm scared of the way I feel. I wonder if I feel too much, if I love too hard.

What if this is not normal? What if I have too much love for one person? What if the love I have and can give is too much for any one person to receive? Is it normal to be able to love this much?

I'm scared if this hope that one day a person would come into my love ready to receive this much love will stay as a hope, forever.

Macam mana kalau aku terpegang harapan ini sebagai janji?
Macam mana kalau aku sendiri terkhianati dengan harapan diri sendiri yang menyamar sebagai janji?


Saturday, April 4, 2020

I am not backing down anymore.

No more holding back.

This time, I'll do what I want to do because I live my life just for me. If doing something makes me happy, I'll do it.


Friday, April 3, 2020

Only me.

To put together something that is so well thought of, and making sure that the you in the future would understand the lesson he must take from this phase of life.

This is something I regretted not doing from when I was in my late 19s. I was so full of myself back then, I didn't really thought of what I thought of me.

I've never had any problem with what others thought of me, because that is senseless.

But when I stand in front of the mirror, and I start to judge myself, I can't stop.

The only person who could bring me down, is me. And he's doing a pretty good job at it at the moment.

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

You're not crazy, it's not just in your head.

So very often, I would have these crazy thoughts and the only thing I could say to myself is, "you're thinking too much, it's just in your head, you're making this up."

I've dismissed so much of my thoughts that I sometimes get numb and when something real comes along, I would automatically dismiss them as being something that's made up.

What if all these while, all the thoughts I had, all the insecurities I am worried about, they are all true. Simply because I didn't get the validation I thought I deserved on all these thoughts, I dismissed them as being something that's made up.

I overlooked the fact that, these thoughts I'm dismissing, they're my thoughts.